Advent Group (UK)

Spenborough Guardian - By Gemma Ryder

FORMER Roman Catholic Priest who married a former nun has written a book about his life and his reasons for leaving the priesthood. Names have been changed but Barry Higgins says his book Scattered Shepherds may ruffle a few feathers within the Catholic church as he writes about why he and many other priests and nuns abandon full-time religion and how the church needs to change and adapt to modern times – as the numbers of priests and churchgoers decreases.

Barry, who lives in Oakenshaw, said that friends had suggested he write a book shortly after leaving the priesthood and setting up home with his wife Jean – who had spent 20 years living as a nun before she and Barry met.

In the early 1990s he began to write a manuscript which was then shelved until the death of his beloved Jean from cancer three years ago.

Following Jean's death, Barry felt that it was God's will for him to re-enter the priesthood. Despite suffering from coeliac disease and pancreatic cancer, Barry felt he would be able to cover for local parish priests who were on holiday and wrote to the Bishop of Leeds to make his request.

Barry said: "The first time I wrote he sent a letter back more or less saying I needed to grieve and build a new life elsewhere. I wrote back to explain that my desire to return was not motivated by grief, that it was something God was asking. But a second reply said that a return to active ministry was impossible.

"I then decided to write to the Pope about my predicament,but so far I've heard nothing.The present day attitude of the church towards such as me, seems to edge away from Christ's thinking. It appears to be more concerned with rigidly hanging on to man-made church law, rather than the overriding law of God's love."

Barry said writing his book gave him the platform to express his concerns for all those silent voices of priests and nuns who had opted out of life in the inner-church.

He said: "Scattered Shepherds gave me the opportunity to demonstrate in a gentle way, some of the difficulties and personal problems that lead former priests and nuns to abandon full-time religion, not forgetting the similar predicaments facing those active in their vocation today."

As a young boy, Barry had no desire to become a priest, but a visit to see Ben Hur with a friend at the cinema sparked his interest.

"During the crucifixion scene, something stirred inside me and from then on I began to take an active part in church life but still had no intention of becoming a priest," he said,

But one day at work some years later, Barry felt a deep and vivid calling to the priesthood.

That autumn he began his studies.

He was ordained at St Columba's Church in Bradford, but after five years of being a curate he began to question the way of life.

"I found presbytery life empty of warmth and belonging.

He was ordained at St Columba's Church in Bradford, but after five years of being a curate he began to question the way of life.

"I found presbytery life empty of warmth and belonging. What the priesthood lacks is true brotherly love between its ranks, from bishop to parish priest, to curate," he said.

"After having served as a curate for five years, and knowing that it would be another five years before I would become a parish priest, depression set in, and I wanted to get out before my health deteriorated any further."

The day after he made the decision, Barry and Jean decided to set up home together. They had met while Jean was working as a temporary officer-in-charge at a residential home he visited weekly. Although they had a lot in common, Barry said he did not leave the priesthood for Jean.

He said: "Some priests do leave the full-time church to marry, but I think there is always something more than that behind their decision."

The couple married in a civil service in Bradford and Scattered Shepherds gives Barry the chance to reflect on their lives together from that point up until her death, and his decision to re-write his manuscript after his letters of rejection from the bishop.

"I sat in front of the computer and wrote, almost blank, with no emotion to produce the version of Scattered Shepherds which has been published," he said.

"Vocations are lacking, church attendances are falling, monasteries and convents are closing and parishes are having to amalgamate.

"These days the church lacks the staff it needs to flourish. The church desperately needs a considerable upsurge in vocations to the priesthood - married or not, to spread the Gospel.

"Much more can be said to help steer the church in the right direction, but Scattered Shepherds simply touches on the need for a spiritual refurbishment of the church today."

Anyone who would like to but a copy of the book can visit www.authorhouse.co.uk or ring

0800 1974150

. You can also order the book online or from various outlets including W.H Smith using the reference number: 978-4389-1-8540-4(SC ISBN).